that's when all that practice being rebellious & eccentric actually pays off & you no longer care about other peoples' small minds & have freed yourself from the restrictive constraints of a repressive & boring mainstream culture ~ die happy

love all-ways,
mem

American society is about moving on. Maybe that is not always what life is all about? For every fad, fashion, manner of speaking, etc there is somewhere someone that that human-cultural-social expression really, really resonates with and, for whatever reason, they don't want it to stop resonating with them on a daily basis. As a society, we really do regiment ourselves into generational classes because, well, our culture moves so fast that many of us feel like society is passing us by by the time we're an adult. And in some way, in this past century, that has really, really been true. Our brains form patterns until we're young teens and then, for want of a better term, they get confused by all the sexual urges that seem to constantly impinge either on us or through our presence past that point...we are therefore distracted by all that and don't really have as much time as many of us would like to change other aspects of ourselves that were formed way back when...to match up with the expectations that society wants to place on us. So, some of us do and some of us don't but we, all of us, wonder sometimes if we are okay, if we fit in, if we are making our statements and having them understood...or are just being sniggered at behind our backs.

<---- prefers the term *quirky*

Amy said....


"when you are old, being eccentric, volatile and angular (and having blue hair) just makes you an absurd and pitiful character. it's not like you're in a becoming state anymore. that's it. you are a funny-looking absurd character and you are going to stay that way until you die. "

I would only add that when you are even older , being eccentric, volatile , angular (and having blue hair) you eventually become a Senior citizen , you pull your pants up way up past what should be your waist, wear white loafters and move to Florida, where you spend your days complaining about the weather and about how your children never call. And that is what you do until the day you die. (sorry I couldn't resist)

I think you are probably young. Doing any of the things you mentioned when "old" (whatever that means) does not make one pitiful or absurd. You'll know when you get there.

This subject is rather close to my reality at this time in my life. I turned 50 a couple of months ago. I married my 28 year old wife a couple of weeks ago. I find myself torn between being true to my age at the same time I want to be true to how I feel, which is much more in line with my wife's age. I am painfully aware when we are around people close to her age because I don’t want anyone to get the impression I am trying to “fit in.” I also don’t want to come off as trying to be everyone’s Dad. It is quite the tightrope walk I assure you.
I guess I need a definition of just what "OLD" is. I will readily admit that 20 years ago I would have considered a 50 year old an old man. In fact I still consider many of my peers to be “old.” I just don’t consider myself to be in the same mental construct as many of them. Some are actually atrophying before my eyes. Many others are buying motorcycles and acting like some sort of pseudo outlaw biker gang members in a horrifyingly embarrassing attempt to hold onto their lost youth. (There is nothing uglier than watching a bunch of old people walk around in biker attire as they re-enact the same parties they lived through in high school and think that means they are still young.) Don’t get me wrong, I am all for a good party but for god’s sake let’s at least listen to some current music and shelve the Zeppelin and Lynard Skynner for a while. I fear being attacked at the suggestion we listen to Panic at the Disco or The Chevelles or Fallout Boy. (Don’t even consider mentioning RAP, that music from the depths of hell!!!!)
So here is the big rub. How do you age with grace and dignity at the same time you remain true to yourself. The answer for me has been to simply get over it and quit taking myself so seriously. The only “rules” are the ones that the individual decides to accept. Well I don’t accept that I have to grow old gracefully. I choose instead to just live and be whatever it is I feel like being at the moment.
Amy said,
“when you are old, being eccentric, volatile and angular (and having blue hair) just makes you an absurd and pitiful character. it's not like you're in a becoming state anymore. that's it.”
I have to say that if others choose to think of me as absurd and pitiful without first getting to know me then those are not the kind of people I choose to associate with anyway. They are already rigid in their thinking and therefore “OLD” in my book. I also have to state that from the moment we are born till the moment we die we are in a “becoming state.” We remain in that state as long as we are active and involved in life? I know 90 year olds who still read and watch and listen. They learn new things every day and are still actively “becoming.” I also know people in their 20’s who haven’t read a book in years and find fault with anyone whom they perceive as different from themselves. They have gone stagnant and quit “becoming.”
Age is just like everything else in life, perception is reality. If I had any hair I would die it blue and my heart would break for those who would laugh at me. It would break because they allowed their minds to become/remain so small that they missed out on the opportunity to know another human being. One who just might have something useful to offer simply because they have spent a few more years muddling through this thing we call life. A thing that doesn’t give a fig about who we are or how old we may be.

Yes it's true. We are challenged to continue stating ourselves and beliefs, even as we age. When we were younger it was easier. Being attractive confuses a lot of people and gives us more time and mental room to get the story straight.

heres one for you, somewhere, I heard it said that we all wear the face we deserve by the time we're 40.